It's not summer vacation yet

Dear Grade 8s,

the weather today was warm and sunny, but not so hot and bright as to trick you into thinking that you're already on summer vacation. Please tell your brains to come back - you need them for another 6 weeks.

Yesterday, do you remember that I stood in front of you, brandishing a knife? You needed some important knife safety skills for today's cooking lab. I let some of you demonstrate how to safely walk with a knife - most of you enjoyed it, so I know you were paying some kind of attention.

Do you remember that I showed you how to peel an apple? And how to core a strawberry? I do, because I was so pleased that my berry cored so nicely... made me feel a little competent.

Do you remember the time we devoted to sorting out your cooking groups? That 7 arguing people cannot make a cooking group? You must sit in groups of 4 or 5. No? I didn't think so.

Today, you came in and watched, with small interest, and I rushed around, pulling out the ingredients for the Fruit Crumble cooking lab. As I deposited the last ingredient on the prep table, I asked you if you didn't think some aprons and maybe some clean hands might speed things up? All I got was a single keener at my elbow begging to be assistant chef. At least he was away yesterday and didn't know that today was a day of action.

If you're not going to listen to me, the least you could do is read the recipe that I gave you. This IS your third year of Home Ec., so these things must seem vaguely familiar. You know, that paper I keep throwing at you at the beginning of a lab? No? Didn't think so.

When the Unit Managers were finally roused to action, things looked better, for a brief, shining moment. And then, suddenly, there were 15 minutes left in the class, fruits were still being peeled at the point where they should have been simmered. Sinks remained empty and tables were full of dirty dishes. You wandered aimlessly from group to group for no apparent reason.

At the last few minutes of class, half of you had pulled it off. Kind of. Only 2 groups of 6 had followed the recipe. Another 2 had put the fruit and topping in a baking pan, but omitted the simmering step. The final 2 (and I mean final - they finished 15 minutes into the next class!) the final 2, hadn't prepared their topping and their fruit crumbles look like apples floating in pink vomit.

I think it will still work out. It's fruit mixed with flour and sugar. How bad can it be, really? I hope when I give you your self-assessments, you're honest enough to 'fess up to your mistakes.

And guess what? Next class, you're going to be assigned a seating plan. And you won't like it one bit. But perhaps your cooking will improve.