I should have told them to peel the banana, first

Well, that's it for the year. The last cooking labs are complete and class ends in a few days.

The quinoa brownies turned out really well. The students seemed pleased - or at least satisfied. The last group told them the brownies were gross, so their expectations were low. I don't think you should take culinary recommendations from the group that ruined their recipe. Or the group that measured their salt OVER the dry ingredients. (It's really hard to pick the extra 4.5 ml of salt out of a bowl of dry anything).

The 6/7s made blender smoothies. I'd saved it for last simply because I'd anticipated hot weather, which hasn't arrived. I just didn't want to be baking on a scorching hot day. Four classes of using blenders... they're still a bit iffy about how to wash the silly things, but overall quite good. As we entered the final class, I was feeling pretty good about their ability to complete the lab.

Group 5 erupts in dismay - it's a blender blowout and smoothie ingredients are oozing onto the counter. The problem isn't that the blade assembly is mis-threaded. It's that the blade assembly is sitting, loose, inside the jar. Not attached. At all. No wonder it's leaking!

I get them cleaned up and re-started. (I want water-proof blenders so that I can just deal with a blow out by giving the thing a good rinse. So much faster!) I turn to the group next to them and begin to survey the room. The Special Ed. Assistant swoops in behind me to Group 5. Utters things in disbelief. The boys look baffled. She holds up an unpeeled banana that she intercepted on its way into the blender.

I should have told them to PEEL the banana before putting it in the smoothie. Is it ironic that the next day, some visiting high school students ran past my class dressed (among other things) as a banana?

And that's my first year teaching Home Ec. And you know what? I'm looking forward to next year.

The Applesauce Must Go On!

There are so many good reasons why I should have stayed home the past two days.

1. I am a bad role model. I should not teach cooking labs when I am sick.
2. My classes are noisy, and that much noise on a stuffed up head is very unpleasant.
3. Now, I'm really tired, and it will take me that much longer to get better.

Oh well. I had one good reason why I chose to come to work with a rotten cold.

1. The 6/7s are making applesauce.

Yesterday, one class was cooking, and another was prepping. Today, the final class was cooking. I don't feel comfortable leaving cooking labs for guest teachers, unless we can discuss in advance and ensure that they can and want to deal with it. While I have no doubts that a certain Guest can indeed handle anything and everything that comes up, would she choose that harrowing experience, or would she rather pick up another on-call job? Yeah, I don't blame her either. (I told the kids that Ms. T. could handle the job, but she might not be my friend afterwards. They think that's funny, but they nod, sagely.)

Since this lab involves grade 6/7 student handling knives for the first time, and boiling pots of apples and sugar, I decided to just deal with it.

Good thing! Another teacher in my school was away, and no teacher was sent to replace her. The principal and vice principal covered her class. I probably wouldn't have been replaced either. Yikes!

The kids are actually quite nervous about the knife skills lab. We go over knife handling and safety (especially around dishwashing - and some classes did hear about the time my little brother put the just-sharpened knife in the sink without telling me, and I got cut AND I got in trouble for swearing at him!)

I'm more concerned about the cooking part. Six stoves, each with a boiling pot, and 25 kids who bounce around like Tigger. Anyone who cannot behave sensibly gets sent to the hallway to compose themselves. If they calm down sufficiently, they can come back. (Everybody does - No One wants to miss a cooking lab!)

So... Applesauce lab successfully completed. One injury - not related to either knives or boiling pots (she slipped on the floor during clean up, and bashed her leg on the table, poor thing). The rest of the classes were content to watch Bill Nye the "don't bug the teacher, she's sick and lost her voice" Guy. I love you, Bill. Never change :-)

Poltergeists

Who you gonna call?

It was irritating when kitchen utensils moved from drawer to drawer whenever I wasn't looking.
It was confounding when measuring cups would disappear, then reappear from one class to the next and cookie sheets would hide in plain sight in the cupboards.
But now it's dangerous. My poltergeist is playing with fire.

Wednesday. Block 5. Right after lunch. Ten or fifteen minutes into a knitting session. It's noisy. They don't knit quietly. "TEACHER! That burner's on... maximum. It's glowing red!"

Yikes! The group seated in front of the blazing stove denies all culpability. They appear genuinely puzzled. And offended. They know that this offence is worthy of a visit to the principal.

In their absence, I tested the burner to see how long it takes to heat up, and turn red. Two minutes for the heat to be palpable, almost 4 for it to turn red. The smell is distinctive. It has to be happening during this class. If it were the class before lunch, I'd notice the second I walked in the room. In fact, I'd probably notice before I even left the room. It's not the sort of thing you'd overlook.

Thursday. Block 5. Same thing. "TEACHER! Someone turned on our stove again!"

The only visitors to that group has been the girls from the neighbouring group. Not your prime suspect types either. But, let's be objective. They were at the scene of the crime, so I enquire, quite seriously. "I did it yesterday", confesses one," but I didn't do it today."

Hmm... I launch into graphic descriptions of the dangers of clothing and hair catching fire, and hope that I've subdued them. They seem subdued. Good thing that the boy closest to the scene of the crime has very short hair. Longer hair, or a carelessly placed gym bag could have spelled d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r.

I spent a lot of time thinking about how to avoid a repeat, or worse. At the beginning of this term, I noticed that someone was flicking the oven closest to the exit door on as they departed. I had worried about kids hiding someone's gym strip or math book in an oven the way they like to hide things in the drawers or cupboards. Now the burners.

Should I sneak something onto the burner that smells so that I catch it sooner? Or would that make it worse? If I caused the fire, I'd certainly be in trouble! Maybe I could just switch the stoves off at the fuse box. If I could find which switches control what.

The fastest way to get great answers is to email the other Home Ec teachers via the listserv, who respond with amazing speed, with diverse, thoughtful and sometimes funny answers. Most of the early answers were similar and advised cutting the power to the stoves. Some teachers have a master power switch for the room - very handy during fire drills (something I hadn't quite worked out how to handle).

Friday. Block 5... the caretaker and I spent a long time trying to track down the fuse breakers for each stove. He didn't have any more success than I did. We found 3. Maybe 4 (that oven's not working anway). The others, he unplugged. Just before the end of the block, would you believe it? "TEACHER! It happened again!" At least the power was off this time.

 I do not look forward to unplugging and replugging the ovens each lab, but it's almost summer break. Maybe by fall, I'll have a better idea.

Or I'll learn how to placate my poltergeist.

P. S. My voice is missing. The latest in a rash of mischief in the Home Ec room. I blame the poltergeist.  It couldn't possibly be this awful, rotten cold I picked up.

Bill Nye in the Foods room

I love Bill Nye. I admit this freely and without hesitation. Bill Nye is awesome. That show, on tape, has played a supporting role in my classroom since I started teaching. Enter teaching Home Ec... Goodbye Nye? Not a chance. He's Bill Nye the Home Ec guy in my class now, and we've watched "Germs", "Nutrition", "Agriculture" and I've saved "Pollution Solutions" for emergencies. I do, often, have to deal with the question "Isn't he dead?" (Thank you, The Onion - the students have no idea what you are, or what a parody is, but they've heard the urban legend)  Happily the answer remains "No."

The 6/7s are still happy to watch Bill Nye episodes, and they giggle, or chuckle at the jokes and sight gags. The 8s require an apology in advance -  that I acknowledge that this is too young for them, and a little outdated, but the information is still quite relevant... then they can cut loose and enjoy Bill too.

Today, after 4 terms of Home Ec, and about the 10th showing of "Nutrition" (which really does have some good gags) I found out something interesting about my students: students with autism REALLY love Bill Nye's gags. They are the kids who laugh out loud, even when no one else does. They have huge grins on their faces, and are clearly having a wonderful time. The students who are developmentally low find some fun in the show's gags, but don't really get the jokes, so don't laugh as much.

I'm recommending Bill Nye videos as a diagnostic tool. Wondering if you have autistic students in your class? Show a Bill Nye video. Let me know what you find out! Science Rules!

The end is nigh

Term 4 just started, and I've met all my new 6/7 students - about 75 of them. Day One is me talking at them all block, much to their chagrin. New to the lecture are Rules #1 and #2. Rule #1 - Do not enter the room and ask me "Are we cooking today?" If we are cooking, you will know about it, and you will not need to ask. Rule #2 - Do not enter the room and ask "Are we knitting today"? Similarly, if we are starting to knit, you will know about it, and it won't happen before mid-term. Rule #3 is "Do not enter the room and ask "What are we doing today?" I, seriously, cannot take another term of hearing that 75 - 100 times a day.

Term 4... warm weather, grade seven-itis, and class lists that show that whoever planned the classes has a wicked sense of humour. Truly, they saved the best for last... some wonderful kids, and some horrible combinations of ... um... interesting characters.

Lots of my Green Team leadership students are contained in this term, which is nice. A cluster of my beginning ELL students have also arrived. It's nice that they like each other enough to sit together, but I'm quite honestly going to have to assign a translator to that group. My beginners may speak enough English to get by, but they're in for a shock when they find out that my ELL teacher voice and my Home Ec teacher voice run at completely different speeds. As an ELL teacher, I'm pretty mellow, but as a Home Ec teacher on Food Lab days, I'm a little intense.

Food allergy lists look pretty manageable this time round. No phobias, no unusual allergies. Looks like I can stick with the tried and true recipes, although I may let them do one of the Grade 8 recipes. The cookies were a real challenge for the not-very-attentive 8s, but might be an appropriate challenge for my I-still-want-to-please-the-teacher younger classes.

However, this is the cohort that led me to remove the knives from the units. I think I should get another fire extinguisher. And a first aid kit.

I have this on my desk. They don't get it.

Questions - headdesk or just facepalm?

This week's submission:

Why do we have to learn about farms and stuff; what's that got to do with food?

And last week's:

Water... Oh! Why is the ocean blue? Is it really because it's 70% whale sperm?

New -

Student - Are we going to learn about alchemy?
Me - Why would we learn how to turn lead into gold, what do you think that has to do with Home Ec?
Him - Oh. I thought that meant healing diseases with plants.
Me - No. We're not doing that either. Maybe in university.

Hipsters don't do the Cinnamon Challenge

The cinnamon challenge is so... last term... it's so... 8th grade. Ew.
Let's just take the fun and games to a whole new level, grade 6/7 style:

It's quesadilla time! I didn't have much success finding a cheese-free alternative to quesadillas, and the kids were begging to make them, so we went with the status quo. I'd been grumbling to myself that quesadillas are so easy... TOO easy... No. No they're not. Not easy. Not for the kids.

The hardest part is listening to all those instructions the teacher gives. How to set up an electric grill. How to grate cheese without grating your fingers (very stressful, actually). How to make sure your ingredients go far enough. How to flip the darned thing once you figure out it might be ready to flip. Nope. There's nothing "easy" about quesadillas.

The students are allowed to bring in extra ingredients, as long as no one in the room is allergic to it. Additionally, they have to reach a consensus in their group about what to share, and what not to share.

A student brought a jalapeno as part of his extras. I knew that little green fruit was trouble when I spotted it in the fridge. During class I spoke to him about the preparation and clean up of hot peppers (yes, I know, it was only a jalapeno. If it were a habanero, I don't think I would have let him use it, honestly.) He's a reliable kid, and it looked good. (Wait for it...)

Class is ticking along reasonably well. Suddenly, a boy bolts from the room, bent double. Two others follow. I worry that he's vomiting, but by the time I get from one side of the room to the other, he's back - and his head is firmly under the water tap, and he's gulping.

My eyes drift to their table. On a cutting board sits a neatly sliced jalapeno pepper. And what do I notice? It's full of seeds. The boy is still gulping water from a tap that the kids are generally reluctant to drink from. Over the roar of the tap and the hum of the class I call to him - Water only makes it worse!

He emerges. Looks desperate. "What makes it better then?" The poor kid is almost begging for mercy. I have to think quickly. I don't eat hot stuff, fortunately though, my son does, so I have some ideas about what might help. The question is - do I have anything in the foods room that will do the trick? I only keep supplies that we're actually going to use for that lab. Milk! I have milk. I bought it thinking we were making muffins. It's in the fridge and it's fresh. I pour him some milk and he finds some relief. Now, he's ready to laugh about it. I warned him it was going in the blog. I don't think he was listening.